We’re in the middle of a short series of posts about blameworthy character traits. Once we are aware something is, or could be, detrimental to our character, then we can look for it. Identifying then opens the door to addressing it.
Today is a little detour from our mini series. Below are some questions to walk through as we consider our character and look for things to possibly clean from our hearts. Consider bookmarking this page and coming back to it when you feel called to do some work on something in particular.
Peace and Love,
Mariam-Saba
Steps for a self healing
Is there an unpleasant memory that sticks with you no matter how much you try to banish it? If so, consider it now.
Drop into your heart as you recall this memory. What makes it unpleasant to remember? Do you have a regret? Do you feel embarrassed by something you did? Do you have a feeling that is associated with it that doesn’t make sense?
Feel the emotion(s)/sensation(s) and ask your heart, is this my feeling or someone else’s? If any part of what you’re feeling is not yours, let it go. It’s okay not to carry something that is not yours to carry. It’s not our job to carry other people’s emotions. It often doesn’t help them to do so either.
If you have any remaining unpleasant feelings let’s look at them. If not, congratulations, you’re free and can let the memory go altogether. Pick another memory and repeat steps 1-3.
Look at the remaining unpleasant feelings you hold regarding this memory. List them down somewhere.
Look at each feeling and ask your heart, why do I feel this particular emotion or sensation? Let the emotion be the flag that there is something to look at and acknowledge here.
Once you identify why you feel the way you feel, identify what the need is behind the feeling. Is there an unmet need?
It is important to not be judgmental of yourself here. We are human and we are made to have needs. There’s a wisdom behind that, which we can understand but only after we stop judging ourselves for our needs.
Now ask your heart, what is the belief this is pointing to? It may be a belief you really believe is true, or it may be a belief you know is not true but can’t help believing anyway.
This is a tricky part. Whatever the belief is, take a step back from it and find a way to be willing to see that this belief could be true, untrue, or half true. For a few minutes commit to detaching from this belief.
Now turn your heart and awareness towards what you believe the source of all Truth is. It could be God, the source of all energy in the Universe, Allah, Higher Power (defined or undefined), etc. You simply need to set the intention, you don’t have to feel anything specific. What you do need to do is be in your heart (as much and deeply as you can tolerate) and be in a state of “willingness to be surprised.” This is really subtle work. Once you expect to get an answer of any kind, you will get that answer and not the Truth (REAL TRUTH).
Ask this source of all Truth: Is whatever your heart believes really true?
The next tricky part: wait. Wait for a response. Be patient. If you don’t get anything while sitting and waiting for a response, then you may receive an answer some other way as you move through your day. Your job is to stay alert and be receptive for the answer.
Once you get the answer, check in with your heart. Does your heart accept this answer. There may ensue a great battle over this. In Islam, that battle is referred to as the greater jihad. It’s an important struggle and often necessary when we strive to clean our hearts and change who we are. If you have religious tools that involve repentance, this is where you utilize them.
Once you feel yourself accept the Real Truth, whatever it is for you, again check in with your heart. How does it feel when you remember that particular memory? Look for a change of some kind. You may feel something new or feel peace. Either of those things indicate a shift of some kind.
If the feeling remains the same, repeat all the steps and be willing to receive different answers. Many issues have multiple layers and require multiple run through of these steps. This is an example of how we can use our emotions to guide us in our personal growth work.
This is a possible set of steps you can do if you ever want to do a self (spiritual) healing. This can organically happen for people when they meditate, journal, or reflect on their life in someway. This is just a list for anyone that needs a more formal set of steps.
There’s no right or wrong way, all that matters is moving and growing towards the higher Truth for yourself, rather than staying stuck in beliefs that may not be accurate and even keep one stuck in unpleasant and difficult places. Feel free to email me how this exercise went for you!